Puebla FAQs

Several of our friends have expressed some interest in visiting us in Puebla, but nobody has purchased nor even priced out any plane tickets yet. I like to think that our lack of guests has less to do with my personality and much more to do with people not being quite sure what to expect down here.

Of course, such tentativeness is my own making; after all, one day I’m blogging about the intriguing adventures Miranda and I have enjoyed since arriving, and the next day I’m hinting at obtaining a straight razor to help me cut considerably short our mandatory six-month stay. I’m not apologizing for such contradictions -- bipolar blogging is all the rage; however, I am owning up to the fact that my rapid cycling between the good and the bad/ugly might paint a murky picture for my readers.

Therefore, I feel it’s time for me to address – in a concise and straightforward manner – the most common questions that our friends and family have posed to us about our lives down here. My hope is that these responses will compel at least a handful of you to hop a jet and come experience the magnificent chaos yourselves.

Q: Is Puebla safe?

A: Puebla is safe; you in Puebla may not be. As an outsider unfamiliar with the unique ways and customs of the Poblano people, you are at great risk of physical and psychological damage. I’ve already elaborated on the physical health hazards in a previous posting (see “Drug Free Dangers"), so let’s move on to what threatens to unthread your hypothalamus.

They say that if a prehistoric man were to be suddenly placed in the middle of a crowded city in the modern world, he would go instantly insane and likely die of shock. Well, the same holds true if you suddenly place an American in the middle of a Wal-Mart parking lot in Puebla. Just imagine – dozens of overzealous lot attendants loudly tweeting whistles while wildly waving their arms in order to allegedly assist people backing out or pulling in. It’s sheer – and shrill – madness, unless your ears over the years have become accustomed to the noise and, in addition, you have taken time to carefully read the quintessential Guidebook to Mexican Hand Gestures.

Instant insanity might also ensue if you stop to ask a Poblano citizen for directions. You see, the eagerness to please others is a cultural norm in Mexico, thus most locals will avoid saying “no” or “I don’t know” to anybody they feel is looking for a more affirmative response. An endearing trait, no doubt, but not when you need to know where to turn left to get to a bar or liquor store after your experience in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Miranda and I have somehow averted any serious neurological damage from the outlandishly erroneous directions we have received from well-meaning Mexicans, but you may not be so fortunate. The key is to make a game of it – Miranda and I like to place bets on how many people we will have to ask before we actually reach our destination – 11? 12? 17? Side bets are placed on the chances of ending up exactly where you started after 30 minutes of searching. Of course, while such games may be fun and will likely fend off dementia, none of that means much if, while attempting to find a restaurant, you are unintentionally led into a drug den or, worse, the Wal-Mart parking lot.


Q: What is the weather like?
A: The climate is one of the biggest plusses about Puebla. With the city situated roughly 7,000 feet above sea level yet being so far south, the sun warms without scorching and the rain stays away for the most part, except for heavy afternoon showers in the summer months.

That being said, when it dips down to 45-50 °F – as it does most fall and winter nights and mornings – you will certainly want to turn up the thermostat. But you won’t find it. None of the housing here comes with central air or heat, nor even window units. Now, as most of you know, I work from home as a writer; thus in the frigid morning hours this past January-March, I was forced to alter my work wardrobe considerably. Donning a ski cap, a parka, fleece-lined sweat pants, wool gloves with the fingers cut out and, yes, Ugg boots, I looked much more like a gay lumberjack than a man of letters.

But now that spring is in full swing down here, we couldn’t ask for better weather. In the mid-60s in the early am and late pm; in the high 70s the rest of the day. Best of all, I can go back to looking like a real man of literary lore – working in just my underwear and a dirty wife-beater, unless it’s an unusually cool April morning, in which case I will add my Uggs to the ensemble.


Q: What is the food like?

A: Puebla is largely regarded as the culinary capital of Mexico. Most gringos are unfamiliar with the diversity of Mexican food, thus when they hear such a claim to fame they equate it to something like Everton being the oral hygiene capital of England. Being at the top of the bottom is nothing to cheer about. But the truth is, the food here in Puebla will surprise you. In addition to being the birthplace of mole sauce (an odd concoction of dried chili peppers, ground nuts/seeds, spices, and Mexican chocolate -- most commonly served over chicken), the city features numerous restaurants serving up fine international (mostly Italian, French, Spanish and Argentine) as well as fusion fare. In fact, the most renowned culinary institute in the country is located just down the street from our apartment. It’s reportedly quite difficult to gain acceptance to – and graduate from – the school, this according to a former student I met who was expelled a few years ago for cheating on his flan exam.

The only real downside to the dining experience down here is the aggressive up-sell attempts by waiters in several of the restaurants. These servers – trained to take gringos for every extra peso possible – embrace an auctioneer approach to taking your food order: “You want the steak, ok – do I hear a steak with a side of shrimp? Steak with a side of shrimp? Steak with a side of shrimp? Hey! We have a steak with a side of shrimp – do I hear two steaks with a side of shrimp, a bowl of tortilla soup and a bottle of red?...” Never look one of these waiters directly in the eye or you’re done for; just keep your head down, say or point to exactly what you want on the menu, then feign a narcoleptic episode.


Q: What are the people like?

A: I would rather not try to respond in detail to this one at the risk of over-generalizing such a large group of people (Puebla has a population of nearly 1,500,000). It’s is safe to say, however, that every Pobano citizen is 5’ 4” tall and an Aries.


Q: What are the most interesting things to do in Puebla?

A: There are countless responses to this question. Here’s a brief list of some of the most enjoyable thing to do here:

• Going to the bus station and taking a bus to Mexico City
• Going to the bus station and taking a bus to Oaxaca
• Going to the bus station and taking a bus to Vera Cruz
• Going to the airport and taking a plane to Cancun
• Playing Scrabble.


So come on down and visit us already! Just be sure to bring some earplugs, a detailed map, your appetite, and extra money for bus tickets. Oh yeah, and a pair of size 9 ½ Uggs – mine are rapidly wearing out.